The cost of mental health meds

I don’t want to get political here, but I think this blog might be. How does anyone without insurance do this?

I’m temporarily without prescription insurance, and my psych doc phoned in some orders for meds that I don’t need to refill immediately. But I didn’t tell that to CVS, and the pharmacy filled them and sent me a text that the meds are ready for pickup. I looked up the prices on their app. Two that I take are name-brand, not yet available as generics. A 30-day supply of one of them is over $2900, and the other is over $800. That doesn’t include the ~$150 for each generic drug!

I’ll be able to afford my meds once my new insurance kicks in, so I’m not concerned for me. But I truly wonder about this for others – for those with less or on fixed incomes.

I have a couple of friends who don’t have the insurance to help offset the costs of their antidepressants. I’ve seen their tears of frustration as they struggle for mental health and feel defeated, which just adds to depression misery.

What about folks on a fixed income with reduced medical benefits? How are they supposed to pay for their mental health medications if insurance companies remove effective medications from their approved lists?

What about newer medications that are improvements over what’s currently available, but they aren’t the reduced price of a generic drug? Many people are denied access to those improved meds, simply because the cost is out of reach.

What’s the pharmaceutical companies’ responsibility in this? Their research takes years and costs gazillions of dollars to find formulas and get meds approved, but do they recoup those costs on the back of the ill? How should this really work, and be fair? How can we get mental health medicines to the people who need it, in an affordable and timely manner? I don’t have answers, am not pointing fingers to blame. I’m truly asking – how can this be affordable? Is it the PollyAnna in me that wants this to be equal and easy?

God’s Peace, and the Power of Prayer

I have so many things I’d like to write about, but I can’t, due to the incredibly personal nature of them. About health. Work. Family. Sickness. Siblings. Parenting.

All the normal things of life.

But I can write about peace, and God’s faithfulness to answer prayer.

With the many difficult things I’ve been going through lately, I can tell I’m being sustained by friends’ prayers for me and my family. Because of these prayers, I don’t have anxiety about the unknown future. I’m not experiencing stress or great sadness. I’m a little fatigued, but I know it could be so much worse.

There are literally friends all around the country praying for my family, for the various things I’m facing. And God hears each prayer. They come before Him as incense, the prayers of the saints (Revelation 5:8). They are forever before Him as He sits on His throne.

And I am welcomed – no, invited – to come into the throne room with my prayers and petitions. Scripture tells me that I can come boldly before His throne (Hebrews 4:16). In fact, He longs for me to do so. He tells me to bring every concern to Him (1Peter 5:7).

The other night, I awakened around 3am with a rush of anxiety. Yes, it hits occasionally. And my first thought was, “Oh, no! All my prayer warriors are sleeping!” Funny, eh?!

For those of you who are praying, thank you. My family and I are so grateful. Your prayers keep us going, knowing that we are being lifted to the King of kings.

We don’t know what the future holds. None of us do. But, as the song says, we “know who holds the future.” God has everything under control. He’s working all things for our good. He is trustworthy.

I am at peace.

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John‬ ‭14:27‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Discipline

Discipline – not a word that I like; I suspect many people don’t. But I’m finding that I need more of it in my life. I need discipline if I’m going to stay mentally and physically healthy, and reach my personal goals. I need good habits.

I’ve become more consistent lately at having my time alone with God in the mornings. The Lectio Divina Journal has helped with that immensely, as do the daily devotional emails I receive and read each morning over my cup of coffee.

I’ve started Morning Pages (The Artist’s Way by Julie Cameron), which is three pages of stream-of-consciousness thinking put on paper.  It’s supposed to clear my mind to make way for creativity to shine through.  I’ve only been at it a few days – even for a writer, it’s harder than it sounds! But this is another discipline to my morning routine.

Now I need to schedule my writing – for my book as well as this blog. I’m hoping I can be consistent with writing each morning for at least an hour. We’ll see how this goes, since I tend to blog at night; that’s when my blogging thoughts come together. But even that seems a bit haphazard – as the mood strikes – so I want to plan for it with more intention.

I also need to set aside time for activity. I hate to say it – exercise. I need to put it on the calendar, and walk every day, at least around the block. Slip on my tennis shoes and put on my headphones and head out the door. How else am I going to get my 10,000 steps?! Besides, all research points to the many benefits of regular exercise, for both physical and mental well-being. Indeed, many studies have shown that regular exercise is as effective as a mild antidepressant medication. So why don’t I do it? Lack of discipline.

I want to be more thoughtful about eating, particularly in the evening. As I mentioned previously, I’m using Noom to help me with my calorie intake. Unfortunately, I’m consistently blowing it every night, with after-dinner munchies.  Now to replace that glass of wine with a cup of tea, and the crackers with low-cal popcorn. And one piece of dark chocolate – not four!

I want these areas in my life where I need discipline to become habits, not chores. That’s going to require consistency and effort on my part. But the benefits will be worth it.

“No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.” Hebrews 12:11, NLT

Regulating Springtime Temperatures

Does anybody else have trouble figuring out what to wear in the Springtime?

The mornings can be cold – in the mid-30s. But daytime highs reach into the 70s, might even touch 80!

“Dress in layers,” they say. And I do have a couple of lighter-weight sweaters that could go over short-sleeves. But the jacket I need in the morning is laying in the backseat by afternoon.

And do I wear socks in my shoes, since my toes are cold? They make my outfit look so “wintry.” Yesterday, I put on a black T-shirt with a lightweight red and black open cardigan, and jeans. With socks and shoes, I looked like I was dressed for November!

I took off my socks and tossed them on the floor of the car. I rolled up my sleeves and cuffed my pants and – voilà! – I was dressed for Spring. Kinda.

I don’t really have much in the way of Spring colors in my wardrobe. I wear lots of blues, with some purples and grays/blacks. Not Springy colors like pinks and greens and yellows. Definitely not yellows, which make my skin look sallow.

What about sleeping in these temperatures? We’ve been keeping one window open at night, for the fresh air. But the room really cools off by early morning.

On my birthday a couple of weeks ago, I got a weighted blanket. They’re not supposed to be hot, just heavy. But mine came with a “minky” cover, which is plush polyester – not breathable. I got a second cover – cotton and bamboo – which is definitely not as stifling as the first one.

I’ve slept with the weighted blanket many nights since I got it. But I almost always kick it off in the middle of the night because it’s too hot. I find myself dropping it to the floor and reaching for my regular sheets and blankets. And then, come early morning, like 3am, I’m cold and want another layer. But I’m hot by 7am – probably the furnace kicking on.

Speaking of heat, I’ve noticed how hard it is to regulate the temperatures of rooms in this weather. It’s too warm for heat, too cool for air conditioning. Having the windows open is a nice alternative, but that doesn’t work at our office. And if it’s windy, all the tree and flower pollen is blowing around, which makes sneezing much more likely.

This temperature difficulty is especially noticeable in big buildings, like at church. It must be difficult for staff to know if they should turn on heat or AC. And it takes so long for a large space to warm up or cool off. I’m sure that’s a challenge for the property manager to regulate.

I sound like I’m complaining. And I’m really not; just observing the difficulties of this time of year.

The positive aspects of Springtime far outweigh these trivial negatives. The beautiful dogwood and Mountain Laurel trees, the greening grass, the daffodils and tulips. The celebration of Easter and new life. I stood underneath a huge lilac bush at church last night, just soaking in the beautiful perfume. I may not have anything to wear, but Spring is a beautiful time of year!

Writing in the Glory

Assignment from Writing in the Glory workbook by Jennifer A. Miskov:

Depression is like a heavy, wet, gray wool blanket, carelessly thrown over my shoulders. It weighs me down, bends me to a hunched posture. And it stinks!

**********

Depression brings companions of anxiety, hopelessness, fear, apathy, and the desire to isolate. Nothing sounds good. Nothing tastes good. Nothing is all I want to do. To sit alone and stare into space with “nothing thoughts.” Or worse – spiraling thoughts, like a tornado swirling, repeating the condemning and negative self-talk: I’m a failure; I’m all alone; I’m miserable.

Medicine “un-muddles” my thoughts; it clears my foggy brain and reduces the accusing ruminations so that I can think more clearly. That’s when the work starts: to“take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV), and to replace it with God’s truth of who I am and how He sees me. This puts perspective back in order, and puts God back on the throne of my life.

Some days, the work is relentless. Every thought is off-base, and must be replaced. At those times, it would be easier to just rest in the familiarity of depression. I know the comfort of sinking down in my miserable-ness. It’s hard to reach for health.

But I don’t have to stay down – God will pick me up. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.” (Psalm‬ ‭40:2‬ NIV‭)

Thank you, Lord, that you do not leave me in depression. You are faithful to me, and You are always with me. I am not a failure – I am Your child. I am not alone – You are always with me. I do not need to feel miserable – You love me. You are good, God. In Jesus’ name. Amen.