How to talk about mental illness in the church

I wish people in the church would talk more about mental health. Depression and anxiety and other mental illnesses continue to plague 1 in 5 people. 1 in 5! That means statistically, someone just down the row at Sunday morning service is fighting for their mental health. With a number that high, it’s hard to believe that stigma still surrounds the issue of mental health.

When I was struggling with depression, I found it very hard to be honest about my disease at church. “How are you?” someone would ask as they passed me in the hallway. “Fine,” was the easy answer. But what if I had said, “I’m having a tough time.” Well, that puts pressure on the other person to stop and listen. And I don’t want to interrupt them as they hurry to pick up their kids from Sunday School. Besides, I have Jesus as my Savior, so I should be fine, right?

Here’s the twisted thinking of a Christian depressive:  I’m in this all alone; No one can help me; I can’t tell anyone because they don’t have time to listen and I don’t want to burden to them; I’m a Christian so I shouldn’t be depressed; I have Jesus and all the blessings of heaven, so what do I have to be sad about? Maybe this is due to sin in my life; Where is God? Is He even here?

The truth is, I have Jesus, yes, but that doesn’t change the fact that I live in a broken world, and I am going to face troubles (“In this world you will have trouble…”) That includes mental health issues, like depression or anxiety or bipolar disorder. While my disease is mostly invisible (like heart trouble or diabetes) and there is no outward sign of illness, like a cast for a broken bone, the pain is very real and often very deep. And very isolating.

To share about my mental illness took the tenacity of several friends, who kept asking if I was ok. They noticed that something about my mood was off. I wasn’t as cheerful and upbeat as usual, and close friends began to notice the changes in my personality. Additionally, I had been talking with a counselor, and it became easier for me to admit out loud that I wasn’t okay.

Still, it took time.  I didn’t tell everybody, just those who kept asking. And it took a level of trust on my part, that the friends I told would understand and wouldn’t judge me as being a failure as a Christian. That they would see I was hurting, even as I was trying to trust the Lord for my healing.

And I have good friends. They were patient with me, and let me share as I was able to be more open.  They didn’t judge, and they accepted that I was struggling with depression and it didn’t mean I was a bad Christian; I had an illness.

I think it also helps if the discussion of mental health in the church comes from the voice in the pulpit. It helps me to hear the church leadership say that it’s okay, God loves me in the middle of my mess, and I am not condemned due to my mental illness.

It’s also great if the church offers mental health support, like the peer group Fresh Hope. This support group encourages folks who struggle with mental health issues to live a healthy life in Christ, in spite of the mental health challenge. This group enabled me to talk about my struggles with others who understood. We encouraged each other to remember the hope we have in Christ, and we shared our burdens and steps toward wellness.

So to talk about mental health in church, it takes:

  • time – for the person struggling to be able to share
  • time – for the listener to dedicate to understanding
  • honesty – for the one with the illness to be able to vulnerable and open
  • trust – for confidentiality and kindness and acceptance
  • openness – from the church leadership to talk about mental health issues
  • support groups – to encourage and support others who struggle

Let’s talk about mental illness at church. Let’s offer encouragement and support to those struggling. Let’s show the world that we’re not about judgment – we’re about living well in Christ, in spite of having a mental health concern.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 NIV

8 thoughts on “How to talk about mental illness in the church

  1. theapplesinmyorchard December 16, 2019 / 8:00 am

    This is a beautifully written and honest post, Peg. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on it. This morning you inspired me to write a post on being a good listener. I linked your blog to mine. I hope that is okay. Take Care. Please know I am always available to listen. Although you are far away, you are always close to my heart.

    Liked by 1 person

    • peggyricewi December 16, 2019 / 8:33 am

      Thanks for the link! I appreciate that you read my blog and comment. And I value our friendship, even across the miles. Merry Christmas!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Jane December 15, 2019 / 4:10 pm

    Another timely post. Thank you for the reminder that so many are suffering in our churches (especially during this Christmas season). May God bless you as you wait on Him to unfold his plan for your next steps in ministering to those who suffer from a mental health diagnosis themselves or are loved ones of those who are suffering!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Patsy December 15, 2019 / 2:24 pm

    Ah Peggy since I have known you since you were 5 you still seem like my best friend’s little girl that had so many allergies, and were such a good little girl… I’m so sorry that you have had such a rough time with depression. My daughter has had and still has issues with depression. I have been through some of it with her, but don’t think i know the half of what depression does to a person. But I do remember after she was born I suffered with something like depression, and my Mother came to my house one day and I was banging around the house in my robe and trying to keep up with a baby and one that was 21 months old and feeling very sad and like I didn’t have a friend in the world. Mother told me to go take a shower and get cleaned up and go to the library and get me some how to books. Mother knew how much I loved to read and at that time going and buying books wasn’t an option. She stayed with the little ones and I spent maybe 2 or 3 hours out on my own. Within a few days I was figuring out how I could decorate the house and how I could manage 2 kids in diapers. But, how often those moves (we had just moved into our house in Kokomo the day our youngest was born) actually they moved me while I was in the hospital. So it was a big adjustment even though the move wasn’t into another state. But I can see how that might be a big issue, after getting settled into the living place you need other things to do. My outlet has always been kids. There is always a need for adults to help with kids. Sounds like you are doing the right things. It’s so easy to say well you need to do this. Sometimes I find that I’m probably too easy on my daughter, but her son is very blunt with her and now that she lives here now if she is thinking of doing something that I think she shouldn’t I tell her to call her son. LOL. Although I have no professional training I would be glad to be a sounding board for you. I met your Mom when my oldest went to school and we have been forever friends since. I hate it so much that we still haven’t gotten up to see them. Forever friends you can call on anytime and even in eternity I know we will still have this closeness. Forever children of forever friends can also call on us.

    Liked by 1 person

    • peggyricewi December 15, 2019 / 4:19 pm

      Thanks for reading, Patsy. There are many who struggle – I’m sorry Tina does. I hope folks in her church are a comfort to her.

      Like

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