Email to an old therapist

I’m not sure if I’m going to send this email. I don’t want to bug you. But I started to write it last night as I was going to bed, and it stuck with me until morning. So here it is. 
We move across the country in five days. I’m still excited, and have peace of mind about the decision to move. That’s what we always pray – for God’s sense of peace in our decisions. And we have that. 
I didn’t think I’d feel anything about leaving VA. But I’ve had an impact here – in bringing and starting and leading the Fresh Hope group (support group for those with mental health challenges and those who love someone like that – freshhope.us), and in my volunteering at the Daily Living Center (adult daycare). Both groups gave me farewells this week – they said very affirming and humbling things. I’m really going to miss the friendships and the leadership opportunities that they afforded, as well as the relationship aspects. I’ve said goodbyes to friends at church – did I even know I had friends at church?!
We’re going to a farewell dinner tonight – with people my husband used to work with, and my two other friends here. They’re not long relationships like I had in WI, but friends nonetheless. Which is more than I’ll have when I get to CO. I know some people there, so it won’t be a completely blank slate. But the pressure is on me and me alone to make friends – there’s no job or kids to provide an introduction into a new situation. 
You know me and change – I always find it hard. And I’ve had to move so many times in my adult life. Each move has begun with a mild depression, except the one that started my entire journey with depression – that one was deep and dark and long. That move, which should have been simple since I was moving back to a place I had lived before, was the impetus for years of the battle with depression. Of course, if it hadn’t been for that, I never would have met you. And you counseled me through all those years to a healthier me, for which I am forever thankful.
Seems my thoughts always turn toward you, and the safe place of your office, sitting slouched on your couch, when my mood is down. And despite my excitement for the move, my mood was down last night and this morning. 
I’ve really liked my most recent therapist – she understood me quickly, though we didn’t go through depression together. I’ve said goodbye to her, but she’s offered to counsel me if I need her before I find someone out there. Until her, I feel like I’ve never really had anyone besides you, so this is new. Maybe it means I won’t call you in distress, if I have distress. Will I have distress? I’m trying not to assume so. 
Anyway, I wanted to touch base, as I always do when I’m facing change. So maybe I’ll hit send after all. 

10 thoughts on “Email to an old therapist

  1. Anne C Snow October 14, 2019 / 12:07 pm

    I love your writing and your therapist will too! Send your address when you can – safe travels to your new nest!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. theapplesinmyorchard October 13, 2019 / 12:41 pm

    This is a great post. I like how it is stream of consciousness with your thoughts going first one way and then another….very real. I think you will be fine. CO is a place you’ve wanted to land for retirement and now you are going! That, in itself, is exciting!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. kbailey374 October 12, 2019 / 10:52 pm

    That’s awesome! You’ve grown so much! Make sure you take me with you!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Jane E Kelly October 12, 2019 / 11:38 am

    Proud of you Peg! This is a healthy attitude and move. I am glad you hit send. That in itself is a healthy choice. The Peace of God that transcends all understanding is a powerful comfort and evident in you now. It was an honor to witness your leadership, facilitation and membership in Fresh Hope. I know God has bigger plans for you in CO. God is a Preparer. He certainly prepared you for the specific purpose of Fresh Hope, blogging and writing. As you know, the story is not over so many continue to pray for you in this recent transition. As do I.

    Specifically, I prayed this for you today:
    Heavenly Father, Peggy is your workmanship, created in Christ Jesus, for good works which You prepared beforehand that she should walk in them. Help Peggy to do just that. Eph 2:10

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Leighia Waldman October 12, 2019 / 11:02 am

    You should hit send. I’m sure your therapist appreciates hearing from you. Therapist needs to hear affirming words. Thanks for sharing. Praying for you during this transition. Safe travels. 😊💜💐

    Liked by 1 person

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