Scary thoughts

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” ‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭1:7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I’ve been having flashes of fear. Sudden bursts in my mind of catastrophic situations. It’s been going on for a month now.

Several weeks ago, I was in town with my daughter; we were in her car running errands, and I had a flash of being broadsided by a black truck. The glass was shattered and flying, the car was crumpled and spinning. Like slow motion from a movie scene. I was shocked by how vivid the picture was – like a daytime dream.

And like a dream, I came back to reason and shook my head. I then quoted the above verse to myself.

Today, I needed to run to a doctor’s appointment, and my husband was on the phone, working from home. It flashed across my mind, as I walked into the garage, that I hadn’t kissed him goodbye, and what a shame that would be if I died while I was out. Again, I shook my head and quoted part of that verse: “we have not been given a spirit of fear…”

Those are the two examples that stand out the most starkly in my mind, but I know there have been more, because I’ve quoted this verse to myself nearly a dozen times in the past month.

I’ve had nightmares lately, too. The kind where I wake up in a cold clammy sweat, afraid to get out of bed, in case the monsters are real, and afraid to close my eyes again, lest I fall back into the scary dream. I reach over to be sure my hubby is there, and I try to focus on his breathing, inhale and exhale. I wake enough to realize I’m safe, then pray my way back to sleep.

What is this? Why the sudden fear?

It started in a joyous time – celebrating family and friends at a wedding. Am I dreading the future of what might befall my loved ones?

I’m in the process of moving across the country. Am I fearing the isolation of being alone?

My mom was very sick this Spring. Am I afraid of the past repeating itself?

The last time I had major catastrophic thoughts, I was badly depressed. I’ve determined that I’m not headed there again!

Actually, it probably doesn’t matter what it is. Or even why it is. Because God’s truth is still truth:

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” ‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭1:7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I need not fear nor be timid. I have the power of the risen Christ in me (Ephesians 1:19-20), I am surrounded by God’s love (Romans 8:39), and I can be self-disciplined to take every thought captive to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5), even the scary ones.

5 thoughts on “Scary thoughts

  1. Todd Waldman September 30, 2019 / 5:00 pm

    I am saddened by the fact you are being tormented with these vivid dreams, day and night. I don’t know what it could be but your useful scripture and knowing that God is in control is comforting. Personally I had terrible anxiety that would lead to panic, it was never easy. I am not on the daily dose I needed when life was difficult but if I do not take the half dose of Klonopin at night I would expierance a frightening sound only I could hear, like an explosion. I was afraid to go to sleep fearing I would be awakened by the sound in my head. I am fortunate that all it takes is half of a pill and prayer for a night’s rest. I pray you will expierance peace and comfort. Take care Peggy!

    Like

  2. Jane September 28, 2019 / 5:15 pm

    A month??? I guess I haven’t asked that specific question. I will now.

    This is me. I’ll Thank you for the verse and reminder. Looking at the link as I await my flight.

    Like

    • peggyricewi September 28, 2019 / 10:06 am

      Thanks for the verses, Kathleen. I’m not sure if it’s panic attacks – I’ve had those before and this feels less intense – but it clearly could be subtle anxiety. I’ll read those verses!

      Liked by 1 person

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