10 Days and counting…and gratitude

So it’s been 10 days since the doctor’s appointment and I don’t feel any better. The depression is not lighter.

I realize that 7-10 Days is kind of arbitrary. Feeling the effects of a change in meds can take longer. But I had really hoped…

I wasn’t planning to go to my small group today – was going to text the leader and say I wasn’t coming. But then one of my daily devotionals talked about fellowship. And since I had just asked God to make it clear if it was okay that I skip, I felt like He answered me directly – “Go!” So I went.

And I was blessed for going. We spent time in worship – just listening to praise songs and entering prayer and the Presence of the Lord. I always have my journal, and I wrote down some of the words to the worship songs, as well as praise to some names of God. Redeemer. King of kings. Lord. Holy God. Father. Creator. God of All. Protector. Provider.

I’m glad I went. I realized – again – that I’m not the only one struggling with loneliness. And Jesus knows my feelings, and I can feel Him draw near to me to comfort me.

He knows I’m not better after 10 days of the increased meds. But He loves me in the middle of my mess. He is acquainted with sorrow. He’s not surprised by my sadness. He sits with me in my isolation. He tells me that He is with me – I am not alone.

And as my therapist reminded me the other day, I am more than my depression symptoms. I may not feel like it, but I am greater than my depression.

I am working on thanksgiving. Having a grateful heart. It seems to me that gratitude will build contentment, which will fight bitterness. I want a thankful heart. One of gratitude for my daily blessings, large and small. I’m writing them down, to make them concrete. I desire to fight depression with gratitude. Oh Lord God, help me to make it so!

🎶 Give thanks, with a grateful heart.

Give thanks, to the Holy One.

Give thanks, because He’s given Jesus Christ, His Son.

And now, let the weak say “I am strong.”

Let the poor say “I am rich,

because of what the Lord has done, for us.” 🎶

So it’s been 10 days. And it may be 10 more. Or longer. Until the depression lifts. But in the meantime, I will continue to praise and thank God for His blessings. Friends who know me and love me anyway. A husband who supports me always. My kids. My work. My home. Medications. Moments of sunshine. New friends who want to get to know me better. My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, the Lover of My Soul, the Giver of Grace. May He receive all the glory. Amen.

4 thoughts on “10 Days and counting…and gratitude

  1. kbailey374 November 29, 2017 / 4:08 pm

    I am struggling w/ depression too, I am seeing my psych nurse Friday and I dread changing meds. so far we have just added, then increased. Now it appears we need to start from scratch. 😦 I have the danger of any new meds causing me to get manic which is as bad or worse than depression. I HATE THIS may I just go on record as saying. The whole thing. I am forcing myself to listen and sing to Christmas music, I am buying a Christmas tree because a part of me really really wants one even tho I can’t afford it really, so I am buying one. Driving to work one day (which I dread going to) I made a list of 101 things I am thankful to God for. I could probably make a list of the 101 things I am NOT thankful for but Philippians 4:8 says to think on the GOOD things. Anyway standard for antidepressants is that it may take 6 weeks, but sometimes you can feel some effects sooner. So by Christmas day you should be feeling better. 😀 I know, a long wait, but a good Christmas present!! 😀 What did she put you on? You can write me privately if you would rather. I do know I love you very much, though I have never met you in person. And I do know that it is all going to be okay, for both of us. One day we are going to sigh and say, gee, I didn’t know things could be this good, praise the Lord. That is my fervent hope and as with the Lord, not a think-so hope, it is a know-so hope. xoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

      • peggyricewi November 29, 2017 / 8:36 pm

        Struggling in this battle again. And starting over with new meds can be so frustrating. I’ll pray that your psych nurse finds the right combination right away.
        I am on Viibryd – just increased, and Wellbutrin, which I was on a few years ago.
        I know that one day, this will all be behind us. In the meantime, stay strong and know that you are loved by a Mighty God.

        Like

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